Why won’t my child play with toys?

If you’ve noticed your child doesn’t show interest in toys, you’re not alone. As a speech-language pathologist working with children birth-to-five years of age (and their families!), one thing I’ve learned is that there are many types of play.

Dr. Casby described the four stages of object play as exploratory, relational, functional, and symbolic. If you read my last blog on how to make book reading interactive and fun, you know there is no “wrong” way to play. To support overall development and future skills, I think it’s important to identify where your child may be at in the play stages to know how they might enjoy playing and which step comes next (and therefore what type of play you should be showing them to imitate and use!).

While play with toys can be a great way to practice these different types of play, they are not required to support your child in these developmental milestones. Rather, use of everyday items, such as toilet paper rolls, empty water bottles, pots and pans, kitchen utensils, painter’s tape, and empty boxes can be a great place to start.

Toilet paper rolls
Toilet paper (or paper towel) rolls can be found in most homes. Once their primary function has been used up, they can be used during play with your child. The best part is once you’re done with them, they can go right in the recycling bin. Some sample play ideas include:

Pretending they are binoculars or a telescope. This can be a social game, such as “I see you!”, I-spy, identifying objects in sight. This can be more literal (labeling items and common objects) or it can be imaginative, such as pretending to go on an adventure. Pretending it’s a horn-like instrument or a voice amplifier, talking or singing into one side of the roll. If you or your baby is
particularly musical, you can use one of two of them as a drum stick and tap out the melody to your child’s favorite song. Using an empty bowl (or box), take the roll and begin to circle it around the inside to “mix”. If it’s empty, you can see if your kid can follow along with imagination play. If that is too advanced, feel free to put small items or objects inside to mix together.

If you have a few rolls, try these play ideas:
Stacking multiple of them up like a house of cards. See who can build the bigger house or work together to make a giant one. With a few rolls and a ball, you can pretend they are bowling pins and knock them down. Stack and line them up like dominos and watch how knocking one down can make them all fall. An alternative to this idea includes stacking them up, taking a deep breath, and blowing them over like the Big Bad Wolf.

Empty Water Bottles
Water bottles can also have many uses outside of their intended purpose. In addition to pretending to drink from them (supporting functional play), you can pretend to give the water to a stuffed animal or a doll for a more complex imaginatory play scheme.
For simpler play ideas, using it as a shaker (with water or items such as paper clips, pom poms, glitter inside) can create a sensory water bottle. Similar to the toilet paper roll idea, you can also stand them up and knock them down like bowling pins, or try to blow them over like the Big Bad Wolf!

Pots and pans
When you’re not cooking, bring out the pots and pans. You can put water inside to make a sensory bin. Small toys, sponges, or beans inside can be fun to splash, mix, and wash. Use pieces of fruit to make it “taste-safe” for children who enjoy putting everything in their mouth. This can be great for exploratory play (hitting the pot with a spoon or playing it like a drum), relational play (putting things in and out), functional play (pretending to cook, pretending to eat, pretending to feed a parent or stuffed animal), and symbolic play. For example, you could put toys inside and mix them with a spoon and call it a “hot tub” or “whirlpool”. If you turn the pot upside down, it can be a chair for stuffed animals or a platform for dolls to dance on.

Kitchen Utensils
This can include tools like turkey basters, wooden spoons, and rubber spatulas. You can use them to tap out a beat on different surfaces, seeing if the noises they make are similar or different. You can pretend to play them like a flute or talk on them like a telephone (and see if your child smiles or tries to correct you!). You can use them as a magic wand or use them as a sword to fight. They can be used at water tables or in the bathtub to promote important skills such as mixing, scooping, and pouring. They can be used on their own or in conjunction with pots and pans or other items on this list.

Painter’s Tape
Blue painter’s tape is one of my favorite therapy tools. In addition to working on fine motor skills and the sensory experience of a sticky texture, painter’s tape can be used in a variety of ways. It can be placed on a wall (without fear of removing the paint!) to have your child remove it. You can easily add simple directions (such as “Take the tape off the wall”) or more complex directions (such as “Look on the couch, under the pillow, and peel off the tape!) to support receptive language goals. You can tape toys just out of reach for practicing scanning or having your child practice looking at their environment closely. This can also be an opportunity to ask
for help and practice self-advocacy. It can be used to make an X on a wall or the ground as a part of an obstacle course or a target when throwing a ball.

Empty Box
Possibilities are endless with an empty box. Practice prepositions, such as in, on top, and under. You can put objects inside to play peek-a-boo or a “where is it” type of game. You can make it a base for a block tower or put your child inside and push them for a ride. You can use it like a little table or promote imagination play by playing house. Small boxes like shoe boxes can pretend to be cars with larger boxes (like diapers or Amazon boxes) being a parking garage.

Next time you do some online shopping, save the box 🙂